Issue Two: Round One
A wise man once said, “Saturday’s are for the boys,” and man was he right. Fresh off six months months off from golf, including a month of quarantine...the highly anticipated, first official outing of inaugural season was a banger. The boys gathered at Tanglewood Golf Club in Chagrin Falls on a sunny but chilly Saturday morning. We had the usuals...Matt Miller, Bret Baselaney, Phil Schieman, Jim Sounik, Mario Gastaldo, and Kyle McKinney. We also had some new faces with us to start the year...Jimmy “I’m slightly better than a bogey-golfer” Fisher, and Rob “I don’t know who you are”...I don’t know know who you are. Sorry, Rob. We had one late scratch in the morning from Jordan “I don’t think I can make it” Onderdonk, which forced Mario to pick up Rob.
Team pairings were as follows:
Kyle-JFish - Group One
Bret-Miller - Group One
Phil-Jim - Group Two
Mario-Rob - Group Two
Prior to tee off, the boys agreed to play everyone even since no handicaps had been set. The boys also agreed to the following bets: Overall Score ($10), Closest to pin ($10), and Money ball ($10).
Now onto the results...the first outing of the year ended in a close but comfortable win for team Mario-Rob (). Second came team Bret-Miller (), third Phil-Jim (), and in the basement...Kyle-Jimmy (). Team Phil-Jim won the closest to pin, taking two par threes. Next closest was team Miller-Bret winning one par three. Team Bret-Miller and Phil-Jim both came in with their money ball, splitting the prize money.
Now onto the highlights/lowlights.
Team Kyle-Jim started off REALLY hot with a birdie on the second hole and minus-1 through three holes. Unfortunately, that would be about all they would celebrate throughout the day as Miller would quote-unquote say, “you guys had four pars the entire day.” Chipping and putting were their strengths, but they could absolutely not get off the tee. They seemed to want to start beach season a little early as they found about every other sand trap and had to take two-drops as both found water twice. They finished a gruesome 13-over 85.
Now team Bret-Miller on the other hand were consistent most of the day. Consistent drives, consistent approaches, and just a consistent, shit short game. I mean the guys just couldn’t make a fucking putt. Other noticeables were Bret’s QuickDraw to pick up what he would consider a “gimme”, 175yd 5W to within five feet...with a controversial putt as the putt hit the flag and rimmed 90 degrees and out of the hole for what would have been a birdie. And unfortunately, their group will not know the hole by hole breakdown as Rules Committee Miller threw out the scorecard. Bret also hit two out of four greens on the par threes.
Team Phil-Jim came out of the gates slow with a double-bogey and bogey on the first and second holes, respectively, but then picked it up finishing the front 9 only 1 shot back of the leaders and also picking up a closest to the pin on the par three #7. They then came out of the back 9 firing, taking the course lead from eventual winners Mario-Rob on #10 and #11, but then that is where it all went wrong. Going +7 through the last seven holes would secure them a +11 overall and third place on the day. They were able to salvage some pride and some cash with a birdie and closest to the pin on #16.
The last pairing in the outing, Mario-Rob, were steady all day…tied for the lead at the turn, and then pulling away on the back 9. Birdies on #2 and #12 ended up being the difference maker on the day as they won by two strokes (and a pump).
Other highlights included hole 10, in which the first group was waiting for the second group to pay at the turn. Mario joined group one after paying bringing up a lunch box and asked around if anyone wanted a sandwich and a water. No one but. Kyle has seen this play many times before...instant red flag. There was an ice in his lunch box. Kyle was prepared. He went to his bag and put it in his jacket. Mario came around and said I have something for you and pulled out an ice...thinking he got me. Unfortunately for him...Kyle pulls out an ice from behind his back. The good ole double ice. What a turn of events.
Final results on the day were:
Mario/Rob: +8 (80)
Miller/Bret: +10 (82); Moneyball secured; 1 par three won
Phil/Jimmy S: +11 (83); Moneyball secured; 2 par threes won
Kyle M/Jimmy F: +13 (85)
Next up, Springvale on April 25th.
